Post Script Note entered on December 2.  Last week a new bill arrived from AT&T.  The amount billed for the current period was accurate.  All other accumulated overcharges were still on the invoice, listed as Past Due.    

A day later another invoice from MCI showed up, this one for the same amount as the month before, with the entire amount listed as Past Due. 

It appears that AT&T’s brand of DILLIGAF? based customer service is either contagious, or it is also the modus operandi of MCI. 

Well guess what MCI?  I gave you the courtesy of a response to your first invoice.  From this point forward, send anything you want.  There is a circular file at the foot of my desk just waiting to receive it. 

And AT&T?  As to your invoice? 

Do I look like I give…..?

=======================================

Post Script Note entered February 8, 2010. 

First off, since this whole thing began nearly a year ago, it has become a point of increasing certainty to me that just as bars have beer and stray dogs have fleas, at least a majority of telecommunications companies have idiots working for them.  AT&T proved its leadership in that regard a long time ago.  I have come to find out they are not alone.          

On December 14, 2009, my general voice mail took a call from someone reporting to be named Tamika.  She claimed to be from Verizon, and her message politely asked for someone to please call 800-765-8218.  “And please have your account number handy,” she added. 

My first reaction was, now why in the world would Verizon be calling me?  And better yet, why in the world would they be of the opinion that I have an account number with them?  Was it some kind of a sales ploy? I wondered.  Maybe Tamika was trying to spur some new traffic by randomly calling people, hoping that what most folks would take as a mistaken call would generate call-backs, at which time she could launch into a performance aimed at showing them what they’ve missed by not having an account with her company?  If so, it didn’t strike me as a tactic that was likely to yield a lot of results.  Or make too many friends.  

The next day, while I was still vaguely debating whether the strategy suggested greater kinship to Machiavelli or Daffy Duck, another message was left on the general voice mail.  The first thing I noticed was that it was Tamika again, she being the possessor of a soft, demure, quite pleasant and utterly unmistakable voice.  The second thing I noticed was that she did not leave her name this time.  The  third thing I noticed, and this was the best one of all, was that this time she claimed she was calling on behalf of MCI.  The call-back number was the same, and the request to have an account number handy was repeated. 

So, yesterday Verizon, today MCI.  I couldn’t wait to see who she was going to call on behalf of tomorrow. 

Radio Free Europe?

Of course, I immediately concluded that these calls were directly related to a continuation of the idiocy formented by AT&T.  Because that in itself was more than enough to torpedo any token interest I might have had in talking to Tamika or anyone else at her company, I brushed it off.  It went quiet for a few days, and I quickly forgot about the whole thing. 

Until Friday, December 18th, that is, when a letter showed up in the mail.  It was from Verizon.  It informed me that my “Verizon account has been cancelled and a balance of $400.59 remains unpaid.  If payment in full is not received by 12/24/2009; your account may be assessed additional fees and referred to a third party for collection.”  Though it contained no signatory name or title, it claimed to have come from:

The one bright point of that letter is that I finally undertood why Tamika was inconsistent about who she worked for.  The disturbing element was that instead of her apparent uncertainty being a suspected case of schizophrenia, it now looked more like a case of corporate incest.  Seems to be a lot of that going around in the telecommunications industry.  Maybe inside the beltway as well, though that’s probably a discussion for another day.         

On Monday, December 21, another phone message came through.  Once again someone claiming to be from Verizon left a message, but this time it wasn’t Tamika.  Actually, I’m not sure who it was, as they left no name, but there could be no question that it was an entirely different person.  The soft demure and pleasant voice had been replaced by something that sounded more like a rusty fence gate.  A gate with an abundance of attitude.  I pictured it coming from a stout body, probably with a hint of facial hair.  Maybe some chewing tobacco.  And a swastika.  Or two. 

It sounded like they were getting ready to cut loose the goon squad.  I was ready for them to bring it on, but I was also getting annoyed all over again.  Through no fault, action or desire of my own, and without my knowledge or consent, I was made an MCI customer for three business days, during which time they charged me rates that would make most of America’s credit card companies blush with shame.  Meanwhile, once again I had given a phone company the courtesy of a written response pointing out both the inaccuracy and unfairness of their billing, but just like AT&T, I might as well have addressed that letter to the man in the moon.  

On December 22, Tamika was back, claiming to be from MCI this time, and leaving her same message.  She repeated the effort on the 23rd. 

Somewhere along the line, it occurred to me that Icould not ignore the possibility that AT&T and MCI may be working collusively here.  I mean think about it, AT&T forces me onto MCI despite clear instructions to the contrary, MCI jumps in with a one thousand percent (or so) rate hike, and then the two of them sit back and and ignore all efforts to fix their screw-ups.  Is someone splitting the difference?  Does AT&T organize these little coups, and then get back a percentage as a finder’s fee? 

Hell, is Wanda related to Tamika?  Better yet, are they the same person?           

Think it’s a crazy thought?  Try this one on for size.  Anyone calling into our offices will find no difficulty getting in touch with a live person.  Hence the simple fact that MCI / Verizon / Radio Free Europe representatives resorted, right from the start, to leaving messages, tells me that their desire to actually get through to someone was cursory, at best. 

On December 23, I sent another letter off to MCI, even though I had previously said I would not.  The letter went to the address in Chicago that they provided.  Here’s what it said.

Dear Verizon:

On the page immediately following this note is a copy of a letter recently received from your company.

Following that is the content of a note that I sent to your company in early November of this year.  It is evident that one or more persons in your company chose to ignore that note.  Thus I am sending you another one.  Please pay attention this time. 

 Ready?

I am not a customer of yours.  I have never willingly or knowingly been a customer of yours.  I have never attempted to become a customer of yours.  There is a reasonable certainty that at no point in the future will I ever be a customer of yours.   

That said, I offer you two suggestions.  First, quit sending me bills, reminders or threats.  You are wasting postage and paper in doing so.

Second, you have recently become part of a long and still expanding story of telecommunications lunacy that stars AT&T.  If you are curious about your role, and how you came to be involved in it, please feel free to read all about it at: http://www.iqsurvey.com/blog/?cat=6 .  There you will find a very long story entitled A CUSTOMER SATISFACTION TALE OF HORROR. 

If you wish to achieve a more starring role in the tale, keep sending me threats.

Best regards,

Did that take care of it, you may wonder? 

Nope. 

Another waste of paper. 

In early January I received a notice from a collection agency called Harvard Collection Services of Chicago demanding payment of $540.79 as agent for MCI.  Guess they decided to tack on a little for themselves.  Today, and this post is being entered on February 8, 2010, I received the same notice again.  Evidently they will be sending me reminders on a monthly basis.  Always nice to have something to look forward to.

And silly me, but I find I can’t help but wonder if AT&T happens to own a collection agency.  In Chicago.   

Meanwhile, the telecommunicatiosn miscreants that started all of this continue to send through a monthly bill, full of all kinds of unpaid and overdue charges, $5,930 worth at last count, a figure which is rising with the imposition of escalating late fees every month.  Added to MCI’s claimed cut of the action, and that of their hired guns, and the total amount of the extortion attempt here is now up to $6,470.  And 79 cents.               

And for now, the end remains completely out of sight…..

……and the beat goes on.

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